September 15, 2023
It’s always beneficial to think of other perspectives that can help you adjust to a more balanced mentality. Assuming that you have all the answers can close you off to what other people might have to say or additions to your own life that could help it to feel more complete.
How do you instigate this change, though? How can you get to the point where you’re not only changing your mindset but are confident that you’re changing it for the better? There are several steps you could take, but it’s hard to know what’s best for you without experiencing some of them for yourself.
In fact, if you’ve ever found yourself frustrated by goals left unfulfilled, you’re in good company, most people struggle to reach the milestones they set for themselves. But here’s the good news: the difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don’t isn’t about background, education, or even luck. It’s about cultivating a set of success-oriented mindsets that guide your daily choices and reactions.
No matter your circumstances, you have the ability to set meaningful goals, shift your mindset, and start seeing real progress. Ask yourself honestly: Are you moving toward the dreams you care about, or do you feel stuck? If you’re not where you want to be, taking a fresh look at your mindset, and being open to new ways of thinking, could be the change that moves you forward.
How do you instigate this change, though? How can you get to the point where you’re not only changing your mindset but are confident that you’re changing it for the better? There are several steps you could take, but it’s hard to know what’s best for you without experiencing some of them for yourself.
Absolutely, and it doesn’t matter where you started or what your story has been so far. Everyone has the potential to look at things differently, set goals that resonate with them, and work toward bringing new possibilities into their life. Whether you grew up in the fast-paced heart of Manhattan or somewhere out where the cows outnumber the people, your background doesn’t define your mindset’s boundaries.
The process isn’t reserved for people who’ve had it easy (or hard); it’s open to anyone willing to put in the curiosity, patience, and willingness to learn from both seasoned TED speakers and that wise friend who always seems to have an unusual perspective. In fact, history is full of people reinventing themselves, think of Vera Wang, who started as a figure skater before becoming a legendary designer, or Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose career has made more twists than a pretzel at Oktoberfest.
So, if you’re wondering whether it’s really possible for you to adjust your mindset and chase down those big, audacious goals, know that it is, for absolutely anyone who’s ready to start experimenting, reflecting, and making small shifts day by day.
One often overlooked element of genuine growth is the willingness to stumble along the way. Giving yourself permission to fail might sound counterintuitive, but it’s a powerful tool in shifting your mindset. When you let go of the need for perfection, you reduce the pressure that can make trying new things feel intimidating. Instead, you create a safe space for learning.
Failure, far from being a dead end, offers valuable feedback. Each misstep teaches you something about what does or doesn’t work for you. For example, maybe you try a new hobby and fumble through it, rather than discouragement, this is your chance to adjust your approach, refine your technique, or discover another interest altogether.
By embracing the reality that setbacks are part of the journey, you allow yourself to stay open, resilient, and adaptive. It’s not about expecting to fail, but accepting that it’s a natural part of pushing beyond your comfort zone. This mindset makes it easier to move forward, adapt strategies, and ultimately make far more progress than if you avoided potential mistakes altogether.
It's important to acknowledge that setbacks are simply part of the process when working toward your goals. Even the most accomplished individuals encounter obstacles or temporary failures, they don’t expect everything to go smoothly the first time. Instead of being discouraged, they see these bumps in the road as opportunities to gather feedback, reassess, and improve their approach.
Being prepared for failure isn’t about expecting the worst, but about removing the paralysing fear of mistakes. When you give yourself permission to stumble, you free yourself from the need for perfection and become more willing to try new strategies or pivot if things aren’t working. This mindset helps you stay resilient and adaptable, both of which are essential for growth.
Think of it like learning to ride a bicycle: a few falls are inevitable, but each one offers valuable lessons that gradually lead to better balance and confidence. By accepting mistakes as part of the learning journey, you create an environment where growth is possible, rather than letting setbacks derail your progress.
High achievers see failure through a distinct lens, rather than something to shy away from, it's an integral part of their progress. For most, setbacks mark the end of the road; for those who excel, they’re simply detours or learning opportunities to be navigated.
Adopting this perspective shifts failure from an endpoint to a stepping stone, transforming obstacles into valuable lessons on the road to achievement.
Recognising Counter-Mindsets: Counter-mindsets are deeply rooted attitudes or beliefs that quietly work against your progress. These often develop from past experiences or formative moments and commonly express themselves through self-doubt, restrictive thinking, or persistent negative assumptions. Unlike constructive mindsets that support growth, counter-mindsets can subtly undermine your confidence and motivation.
How They Hold You Back: Everyone battles a stream of automatic thoughts throughout the day, some helpful, but many critical or discouraging. Think of those fleeting moments where you second-guess your abilities, dismiss potential opportunities, or convince yourself that certain goals are out of reach. Whether it’s hesitating to speak up in a meeting, shying away from social gatherings, or doubting your qualifications for a new job, these ingrained beliefs quietly steer you away from taking positive action.
Common signs of counter-mindsets include thoughts like:
This internal dialogue often runs on autopilot, making it difficult to recognise just how much influence it has over your choices and achievements. As a result, you might find yourself avoiding risks, missing opportunities, or feeling stuck in unfulfilling patterns, all because your mindset is quietly building barriers.
Bringing Counter-Mindsets Into the Light: The essential first step to overcoming these obstacles is awareness. Start by noticing recurring negative beliefs and tuning in to how often they pop up. You may realise that a handful of core narratives are repeatedly holding you back. The good news? Acknowledging these thought patterns gives you the power to challenge and change them, allowing your mindset to support rather than sabotage your goals.
Practising self-compassion is key when you're working towards personal growth or a mindset shift. Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes or failures, acknowledging that setbacks are a natural part of the process can actually help you stay resilient. When you treat yourself with kindness, as you might encourage a friend to do, you’re more likely to bounce back, regain motivation, and try again the next day.
This gentle approach lets you move forward without the weight of self-criticism, making each attempt feel like a step toward progress rather than a reflection of inadequacy. By making space for self-compassion, you create a healthier mental environment that fosters perseverance and sustained effort, even when things don’t go exactly as planned.
High achievers aren’t defined by a single background, job title, or even by their education level. In fact, you’ll find successful people across all spectrums, whether they graduated from Oxford, left high school early, or built their success in an entirely unconventional way. What sets them apart isn’t simply where they come from, but how they think and act.
So, what do these individuals do differently when it comes to reaching their goals?
Ultimately, the thread linking high achievers isn’t circumstance, it’s an ongoing commitment to cultivating the habits and perspectives that support their aspirations. By adopting these strategies, anyone can begin to close the gap between where they are now and the goals they want to reach.
Before we look at strategies for improvement, it’s worth asking a crucial question: why do so many people set goals yet rarely see them through? The answer, as it turns out, isn’t always about skill or circumstance.
For starters, most people underestimate just how much their mindset directly shapes outcomes. It’s common to believe that more credentials, better tools, or a new workshop might be the fix. While acquiring knowledge is certainly useful (and who can resist a good TED Talk binge?), what actually makes the difference is the attitude and assumptions we carry into each new challenge. Those nagging inner critics, self-doubt, limiting beliefs, or “I’ll get to it next week”, often run on autopilot, chipping away at motivation before you’ve even begun.
We all have these internal voices, and they surface in everyday moments: hesitating to apply for that new position, talking ourselves out of starting a new project, or believing we’re destined to repeat the same patterns. Most of these are the result of ingrained mental habits formed over years, and they color our choices without us noticing.
Another key reason? People often rely heavily on motivation and willpower, assuming they’re endless resources. The truth is, motivation fluctuates, yesterday’s strong resolve can feel like a distant memory by lunch today if you’re staring down a plate of pastries at an office meeting. Willpower, much like your phone battery, drains with each tough decision or temptation resisted. If your strategy depends solely on “trying harder,” burnout and frustration aren’t far behind.
High achievers aren’t immune to setbacks, but what separates them is an openness to self-examination and a willingness to reset their perspective. They recognise when they’re in a rut, name self-defeating thoughts, and focus on small, sustainable shifts, rather than hunting for one big, magical breakthrough.
The key takeaway? If you’ve ever given up on a goal halfway through February, you’re in good company. Instead of doubling down on grit alone, start by looking at your default thoughts and how you respond to obstacles. Sometimes, acknowledging that your approach needs a tweak is the most powerful change you can make.
Achieving any goal sounds straightforward, just harness your willpower and stay motivated, right? The reality, though, is much murkier. While common advice emphasises sheer determination, there’s a real reason so many of us find ourselves off track within mere weeks.
At first, you might feel driven by a fresh burst of motivation. Maybe you set out to eat healthier or commit to a new workout routine. Yet, life quickly tests that resolve. Imagine arriving at the office, determined to stick to healthier snacks, only to be greeted by a tray of doughnuts. You muster the willpower to walk past, but by day’s end, when another challenge pops up, your determination may be running on empty.
Science suggests that willpower isn’t an endless resource; it’s more like a battery that drains with each decision and every temptation resisted. The more you rely on that willpower throughout the day, the harder it becomes to keep making the “right” choice, especially when stress or fatigue sets in.
This cycle of initial energy followed by gradual depletion contributes to why roughly one in four people abandon a new goal after just one week, and why most give up within the first month. When motivation fades and willpower wanes, it’s easy to revert to familiar habits, leaving many feeling like lasting change is out of reach.
Recognising that the problem isn’t a lack of character but a natural limitation in our mental resources can help you approach your goals differently, as we’ll explore next.
First of all, if you want to change, you have to be open to it. It’s easy to dismiss ideas and suggestions that you assume you won’t like, but staying calm and being open to hearing them might allow you to respond calmly and thoughtfully, letting you think about the idea before dismissing it outright. Change can be uncomfortable and scary, but it can also be incredibly valuable in changing your mindset and perspective and getting you out of your comfort zone.
When your friends make a suggestion about an activity that you would normally be opposed to or assume that you wouldn’t enjoy, try going along with it instead and be open to the idea that you might have fun.
Changing your lifestyle is perhaps the most instrumental step in changing your mindset, making change itself a natural part of your life. Trying new hobbies naturally means that you’ll encounter some pastimes you don’t enjoy as much, but it also gives you a chance to experience new favourites. You can do this by moving sideways from what you enjoy.
In many ways, getting to a point where you’re openly embracing change is much like being open-minded. The hardest part for many people, though, is getting to the point where you’re not only being positive towards new experiences, but being actively critical towards your negative ingrained habits. Much like how change is scary, what you know and how you spend your time is inevitably going to provide you with a great degree of comfort.
If you spend a lot of time eating unhealthily, sitting down, or exercising other unhealthy behaviours, you might find that there’s some benefit in giving another path a try. Trying healthy recipes can be easy thanks to the myriad of recipes online, and getting into the habit of simply walking more can make more of a difference to your mental and physical health than you might expect.
Changing your mindset helps you adapt to new situations, consider different perspectives, and overcome obstacles. It allows for personal growth and helps you achieve your goals more effectively.
Begin by being open-minded to new ideas and experiences. Try new hobbies, challenge negative habits, and step outside your comfort zone. Recognise that setbacks are part of the process and learn from them.
Failure is a crucial part of growth. Instead of seeing it as a dead end, view it as valuable feedback. Giving yourself permission to fail reduces pressure, encourages experimentation, and helps you adapt your approach for better results.
Counter-mindsets are ingrained negative beliefs, like self-doubt, that quietly work against your progress. They can make you avoid risks or miss opportunities. Becoming aware of these thought patterns is the first step to challenging and changing them.
High achievers cultivate growth-oriented mindsets, set clear goals, and take consistent action. They embrace accountability, seek new perspectives, and prioritise their well-being. They see setbacks as learning opportunities, not reasons to stop.
Many people rely too heavily on motivation and willpower, which are limited resources. When these fade, it's easy to revert to old habits. Recognising this limitation helps you develop more sustainable strategies for goal achievement.
