January 4, 2024
People are social creatures leaning towards communication and bonding. We need each other for social, psychological, and many other reasons. However, not everyone gets so lucky to establish some strong and meaningful connections. Sometimes, things just don’t work out, and you have to face life with all its peculiarities on your own.
Don’t despair; someday, you will have a soulmate who will always be there for you. Until then, you can still feel confident and content if you know how to be your own backup and best friend!
Here are a few ideas to consider to support yourself.
If you notice that something is wrong with your close person, you are very likely to ask them how they are doing. So, why not do the same to yourself?
Checking on your physical and mental state is a great and useful practice. Not only does it raise mindfulness, but it also helps you stay in a good mood & shape and prevent any upcoming health issues.
You can use some helpful tools to monitor your state. Check them out online or read this what is liven if you are up for an easy start.
Many apps come in handy, but those with mood tracking and habit builders probably work best.
If you feel like you need help with some of the issues, don’t hesitate to turn to professional medical care. This, also, is a form of self-support on so many levels!
Although most of us are used to suppressing negative feelings, it might be a losing strategy. Anger, anxiety, devastation, and many other feelings exist to give us clear signals: something is wrong! Let’s do something about it!
Experiencing gratitude and being open minded pays off with a better mental state; when you don’t deprive yourself of the right to feel something, your body doesn’t store the negative. You move freely, have no pain, and feel complete.
Even at the lowest, stop to remind yourself that it is okay to be in the sad season of your life, and no one can forbid you to grieve, rage, or cry.
No, it is not a face mask and a bubble bath. Although this, too, might be a method of self-care, in reality, this term has a wider meaning that you can apply to your life.
The stress is imminent, and we have to learn to deal with it. Sometimes, you need to restore on a deeper level, starting with your diet and daily activities. Consider feeding yourself wholefoods, moving your body enough to stay active and feel well after a workout, and prioritising a healthy wake-sleep schedule.
It doesn’t have to be a whole routine shift. If you have never trained outside before, you don’t have to go on an hour-long run to keep the activity levels high. Or, if spinach has never been your favourite, don’t choke on it! Find the pleasant in the obligatory, the joy in the mundane. You can start small and still feel better than before!
Even a brisk walk in the park before your bedtime can become a great act of self-help, releasing the tension and putting your racing thoughts away.
You know what they say: ‘No’ is a form of meditation. Sure, being useful to other people and always ready to help is wonderful, it makes you likeable. But doesn’t it drain you when you go like that all the time?
Protecting your boundaries is a key to calmness. When you agree to everything, you lose the ability to sort out your own priorities. So, if you feel like you need to take a step back and estimate your mental and physical capacities, start by saying ‘no’ to others and ‘yes’ to yourself.
When there is nobody around to ask you to put yourself first, become this friend to yourself.
You are the only person who is going to stand with you until the very end, literally. So don’t neglect this person’s feelings and opinions, and let them put their priorities first.
You can’t take proper care of yourself if you don’t know what you want. Besides, even other people can’t help you if you can’t tell them what you need! That’s why it is vital to finally learn to listen to yourself and understand what your mind and your body crave.
It might be rest or, on the contrary, some body movement, like a wish to go for a jog or stretch. Sometimes, you might feel an intuitive need to try some new, unusual meal that you don’t normally crave. Or you may feel the urge to stay silent for the whole day, minimising any communication.
Without listening to these signals, chances are that you will lose the bond between your mind and body, as well as self-knowledge. And with time, you might lose your purpose, too, because if you don’t know what you want to achieve, what is the reason to try?
It doesn’t matter if you have a big circle of close friends or if you are a ‘lone wolf ’, you need support in the hard times anyway. And with that being said, you have to be your first choice when it comes to a backup.
The art of helping yourself starts with good reflection and deep mindfulness. What are your desires? What triggers you most? What is the best way to support you?
Find the answers to these questions, and your level of self-compassion will rise drastically. Be a good friend to yourself, and you’ll have more chances of finding a true friend who matches your soul.
