February 27, 2024
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Small tensions are a fact of working life, missed deadlines, crossed wires, and tone that reads worse than intended. Left alone, those little sparks can turn into full-blown fires: prolonged arguments, burned-out people, or resignations. Coaching leaders to notice and cool heat early is the fastest way I’ve seen to stop the spread, and it’s shockingly practical.
This is not about therapy or long textbook theories. Good leadership coaching for conflict is bite-sized, behaviour-focused coaching that teaches leaders how to pause, listen, and act in ways that stop escalation, not inflame it. The programs that work teach self-regulation, active listening, tactical questioning, and clear follow-ups: skills you can rehearse and use tomorrow.
Mediators are essential, but they arrive after things are already visible. Coaching leaders is prevention: it builds everyday skills so managers can catch small problems before they become big ones. Research and practitioner reports show that de-escalation training both reduces the frequency of escalations and shortens the time it takes to resolve those that happen.
Top articles and trainers converge on a compact list of practical skills that coaching should teach. These aren’t academic; they’re tactical.
Make this a focused experiment, short, measurable, and practical.
At a SaaS company I know, two managers kept clashing over feature ownership in public Slack threads. It started small: tense emoji, snarky replies. The head of product ran a short coaching pilot, two 45-minute sessions for the managers, focusing on pause techniques and one-line scripts for starting a conversation. They then used a 20-minute facilitated check-in to clarify ownership. Result: threads calmed, decision speed returned, and no formal escalation was needed. The coaching didn’t “solve” all differences, but it stopped blowups and made simple fixes possible. This pattern lines up with practitioner case studies and training outcomes.
Coaching leaders to defuse conflict is cheaper and faster than waiting for formal escalations. Start with a focused 30–60 day pilot (workshop + follow-ups + a one-page script). Measure simple outcomes and use the results to scale or iterate.
Question to spark discussion: what’s one recurring workplace friction in your team that, if leaders handled it better this week, would free up the most time or calm?
Coaching leaders is a preventative measure. It equips your managers with the day-to-day skills to notice and manage small disagreements before they grow into serious disputes. Mediators are essential, but they are typically called in after a conflict has already escalated, whereas a well-coached leader can stop many issues from ever reaching that stage.
It focuses on practical, behavioural skills rather than abstract theories. Key areas include self-regulation (learning to pause before reacting), active listening to make people feel heard, asking tactical questions to move from blame to solutions, and using simple, repeatable scripts to guide conversations.
You can start with a small, focused pilot programme lasting 30 to 60 days. Select one or two teams where friction is common and run a short workshop combined with a couple of brief, individual coaching sessions. This approach allows you to see tangible results and measure impact before committing to a wider rollout.
Not at all. The goal is to provide managers with practical workplace tools, not to train them in therapy. The coaching from providers like Robin Waite focuses on clear communication, setting boundaries, and following structured processes. A key part of the training is also teaching leaders to recognise when an issue is beyond their scope and needs to be escalated to HR.
A coached leader would first notice their own physical reaction and take a brief pause. They would then use a simple line to validate the other person's feelings, like, 'I can see you're frustrated about this.' Next, they would ask a question to reframe the situation, such as, 'What would a fair next step look like?' Finally, they would agree on a clear, immediate action and know when the situation requires escalation.
Small tensions are a fact of working life, missed deadlines, crossed wires, and tone that reads worse than intended. Left alone, those little sparks can turn into full-blown fires: prolonged arguments, burned-out people, or resignations. Coaching leaders to notice and cool heat early is the fastest way I’ve seen to stop the spread, and it’s shockingly practical.
This is not about therapy or long textbook theories. Good leadership coaching for conflict is bite-sized, behaviour-focused coaching that teaches leaders how to pause, listen, and act in ways that stop escalation, not inflame it. The programs that work teach self-regulation, active listening, tactical questioning, and clear follow-ups: skills you can rehearse and use tomorrow.
